Absurdities and such

“What an absolutely pointless exercise!” I exclaim in my head as I cut the grass. 

Why do we maintain things that serve absolutely no purpose other than maintenance?  I suppose it’s a metaphor for our society. 

One idea would be to plant wheat grass and modify a typical lawnmower into a juicer.  At least you would have a highly nutritious drink at the end of it.  Ah, who am kidding… I’d still have a beer. 

Initially, grass was a sign of affluence among the English.  It’s like saying “hey, we are so wealthy that we can afford to take up space for no reason”.  Ah, I love the English.  While I’m all for affluence and abundance, I’m typically not a fan of semi-retarded social statements. 

I imagine a wiser alien race observing us from above.  “What are they doing?” asks the young alien.  “maintaining what they call a lawn” says the elder.  ”Why?  Do they eat it?” further inquires the young one.  ”No.  It just grows, they cut it and then throw it away” replies the elder as he shakes his head.  “Hey, we should make them our slaves and have them do useful things dad”  replies the little one.  “One day son… one day” affirms the elder.   

It would make perfect sense to have a lawn if we bought a goat or two.  They could eat and shit or whatever goats do all summer and then we would enjoy a lovely goat curry or stew throughout winter. 

My friend Christopher has the vegetarian option:  Urban Orchards.  Apples, plums, raspberries, strawberries, herbs and vegetables arranged in beautiful landscaped environments.  Sounds like the paradise we’d be living in if we weren’t so convinced that we have to make money in order to buy food. 

Am I advocating that we all quit working for money, plant gardens, learn how to share love and food while working toward making our community better? 

Kind of. 

I realize though that we tend to be lifestyle addicts and enablers at the same time.  It would be great if everyone would just take one year off in order to figure out what the fuck we are doing here on Earth.  I’m not holding my breath though.