Superman

Sometimes I try to pretend that I am superman.

But I’m really just about to fall flat on my belly into a pool of deep water.  Sometimes it is refreshing and sometimes it hurts.

I use this metaphor because I tend to convey the idea that I ‘have a plan’ or know what I am doing but I really don’t.  My past tendencies are to talk about all of the great projects and ideas and plans that I have on the go.  This has created the image that I have my shit together.  I really don’t.

And I’m ok with that.  It actually feels freeing to admit it.  I know what brings me joy and what my passions are.  For that, I am truly grateful.

I recently had a fall.  I thought I was flying but I was falling.  I almost lost a once in a lifetime love and that would have sucked for the rest of my life.  Yet, here I am in the deep water realizing that I don’t need to appear as a superman in order to be loved.

From this point on, I’m taking the pressure off and letting go of trying to prove I am something that I’m not.

It costs way too much.