Blocked

Again I find myself sitting here staring down the barrel of a blank page with no inspiration to write anything.  ”It has to be real and from the heart” my brain echos to itself.  I’ve looked up “blog topics” on the internet and have two articles in the draft folder that I currently think are shit.  What to do?

I’m taking my own advice.  Just start writing.  Don’t wait for some magic moment.  GO!!!!  So here I am writing about not being able to write.  I have always believed these posts to be some of the best because they are honest.  Not that my other posts are not but, there is something very honest about admitting that I get stuck and stumble.  We’re human after all.  What a strange sentiment; “I’m only human and I make mistakes”.  It’s like we have this built-in mechanism that establishes our rank to a God of perfection.  I wonder if animals every say “I’m only animal and I fling feces at others”?  What an interesting experience we humans are in.  Between Gods and Beasts.

What was I saying?  Oh yeah… I don’t have anything to write about.

Maybe it’s the pressure of the final stretch.  I’m just shy of 300 posts for my post a day for a year challenge and I’m starting to think in terms of quantity.  That’s a bad move because it shuts down my creativity and establishes my mental accountant.  Bean counters shouldn’t run the creative department.  I admit that I thought “oh, only 69 posts left til 365.  If I do 7 posts a day for the next 10 days and program them, I will be finished.”  How lame is that?  Definitely NOT inspiring.  That’s a production line.

I do believe that when it comes to creativity we have the ability to shut ourselves down.  ”I’m not a creative person”, “I can’t write”, “I’m going to get it over with by treating my creativity like a production line” are phrases that I have heard and the last one is what I thought.  After reading this, I’m reminded that this is us being creative.  By saying “I’m not creative” we are using our creativity to create and enforce that circumstance in our life.

I entitled this post “blocked” because that is how I felt today.  Then I remembered my rule…

Just write.  Just paint.  Just start.

… because the walls are not real.  They are perceived.