Tag Archives: anxiety

Bubbles of choice

We were preparing to have an unbirthday party.  I went to go purchase bubbles for the kids.  Kids like bubbles.  Bubbles are simple.  I love simplicity.

I was having one of those slightly off days.  A day where the sun is shining, I have everything in the world to be happy about but, there is something I just can’t seem to put my finger on.  On days like that, it is the little things that finally get me.  I will crumple up a piece of paper to toss in the garbage can one foot away… and miss.  For some reason, that’s what causes me to snap or curl into a ball on the floor.  Go figure. 

So there I am in the super-mega-no one has anywhere else on Earth to be store to find bubbles for the kids.  I’m standing in the ‘bubble’ aisle staring at the latest barrage of bubble guns, canons, jugs of bubbles with a five foot diameter wand, a $40.00 frog that comes with batteries and blows bubbles as his mouth opens and closes and some box-like contraption that you can add different food coloring to in order to make multi-colored bubbles.  I didn’t yell.  I should have yelled.  It would have been funny.  Instead, I screamed in my mind as loud as one can before it turns into audible sound:

I just want fucking bubbles!!!!! 

I’ve never been a “good ol’ days” type of person because I’m not 96 and don’t remember when chocolate bars were a nickel but on that day, I was that guy. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love technology and I think it has tremendous potential to make things easier for us (although everyone seems to be more over-worked than ever).  I just think that we create too many choices for ourselves and it drives our cultural anxiety. 

I did find the bubbles I was looking for but then spent the rest of the day in a wide open field blowing bubbles into the wind in order to calm myself down from the experience of looking for bubbles.


Anxiety

This may sound completely ridiculous to you but as it is right now I couldn’t imagine waking up in the morning without anxiety.  I mentioned this to a friend and then receive a 15 minute talk on Xanax and other anti-anxiety medications that I should be taking.  No thanks!

I have come to appreciate anxiety.  I see it as energy that I can use for the day.  In the past I have woken up with it and made the mistake of associating specific thoughts to it.  This, I believe is how we actualize anxiety… by finding references for why it is present.  When we do this, we cultivate it and it can overwhelm us.  Not because anxiety is real but by our own thoughts about what it is.   

Now, I just let it be and go for what a call “prayer-walks”.  I simply walk with the intention of immersing myself in what I understand to be God.  I have found that my little fears go away when I am in touch with the vastness of being. 

I still wake up with anxiety in the morning.  I have however come to see it as an excited 6-year-old who just wants to get going with the awesomeness of the day and is trying to drag my lazy old ass out of bed.


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 93 other followers

%d bloggers like this: