Tag Archives: canadian writers
141. Although no one is entirely clear on the great toilet paper breakthrough, it is rumored to date back beyond the Tang Dynasty of 618 to 907 AD where archeologists found paper/cloth bundles. The great toilet paper breakthrough of 1920 from a marketers perspective was when it became commercially available by Joseph Gayetty. From my perspective, toilet paper breakthroughs are gross and leave you with shit on your fingers.
142. I watched a movie called The Hunger Games. Lenny Kravitz was one of the actors and he was quite good. Immediately I thought, “great!!! Now that Lenny Kravitz is acting in films he can stop acting like a terrible singer in real life.
143. I cannot for the life of me remember what disease Lou Gehrig died from.
144. Why was Usher smiling when he walked out of the dressing room?
Because he was just in Bieber.
145. This is Beerking…

It’s a sport invented by me and my friend James. It is a simple sport involving riding bikes around town while drinking beer. We believe this qualifies as a sport. It’s non-competitive and the worst part of the game being over is that you’re out of beer. I do not however, condone riding with no hands and taking pictures of your self beerking. That is not part of this sport.
146. A good iPhone app and excellent way to be sued would be an app to monitor ones bowel movements/keep track of successes or concerns. I call it, “iBM”
147. I’ve been learning a lot about Braxton Hicks contractions. Is there a redneck town called Braxton? I’m pretty sure these false labor pangs were named after two doctors but it would be cooler if it was named when slack-jawed yokels made a woman’s belly contract just by their unruly presence. Hey ma!!!! its dem Braxton Hicks at the door!!! They want to know if they can use the kiddy pool for their beer”!!! Get it? Because they’re hicks from a place called Braxton? No?
Anyhoo…
148. The term ‘working under the table’ in Canada refers to receiving cash and not reporting it to the tax mafia. I don’t get it? If you give me 10 beans for painting your room why on Earth would I be forced to give 3 of those beans to people whose sole purpose is to take beans from people?
149. I hired 2 homeless people to work for me the other day. I made them work under the table. Not for cash. I gave them both cheques and some bread. I actually forced them to work under the table outside. ”Now that’s what I call working under the table”!! I said to my business partner as we clanged our glass of champange.
150. Good god, I’ve done 150 of these random thoughts. What is wrong with me? When I confessed my dream a few years ago about becoming a writer I wasn’t thinking it through. I meant “writer that makes money from his endeavors”. Next time, I’ll be clearer Mr. Universe.
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2 comments | tags: 2012, apps, beer, birth pangs, Braxton Hicks, canadian writers, chris scholl, contractions, hiring hobos, homeless people, IBM, income tax, iphone, Justin Beiber, lenny kravitz, lou gehrid, popular apps, really talented canadian writers, rednecks, september 2 2012, sports, tang dynasty, tax, the hunger games, the mafia, toilet paper, Usher, writer | posted in Art
This is post 365 which means that I have successfully completed the post a day for a year challenge.
This year has been transformational to say the least. It has been a year of getting myself back. I won’t get into all of the details but my life was basically turned upside down for a while. It was necessary though. For years I had been struggling with an issue that I wasn’t enough. I was somehow lacking as a human and had to prove my self to the world. I cared so much about what everyone else thought that this became my identity. I wasn’t happy. Change needed to happen.
Over the past year, I have let go of a lot. That psychological nonsense still tries to creep in but I’ve hired guards. In letting go of everything, the irony is that I gained so much more than I let go of. One of the traits that I required to succeed was discipline. My dad often spoke about a bunch of ideas that he never did anything with, so I was determined to make something, anything happen. I started this blog. Honestly, it probably would have just become another fucking project that I start and don’t finish if it wasn’t for the challenge that I imposed upon myself. This has been a lesson in discipline, self-control, creativity and finishing. Remember this: The point of starting anything, is to finish. Otherwise don’t. You will end up drowning in incomplete projects that inevitably leave you with the sense that it is YOU who is not complete.
I almost gave up twice. That is it. One was out of pure laziness and the other was because I was struggling with being on Earth, so the whole blog thing didn’t seem that important. Regardless, I persisted. You can actually read the points in my life last year where I was struggling with myself or some circumstance. This blog has been like a reflecting pond for me that others get to gaze into and post comments on or ‘like’.
Many people have been so supportive during this time. In no particular order:
Reid: It was you who inspired me to do this. I believe you called it blog therapy. Indeed it proved positive. Your friendship means the world to me. We are spiritual allies and we both found our audience.
Megan: Your constant encouragement has reminded me of something so important. Love, above all else is what matters and without honest communication we are all lost. Thank you. Life without you would seem pointless.
Dave: My brain functions better while interacting with your brain. You have shown me what discipline is and have offered a shining example of what it takes to step up as a man and a father. Oscar is one lucky kid.
Mom: You are the reason that I love so much. Thank for everything (including putting up with my shit and me posting about your shit). Unconditional love is my inheritance. You showed me that love is not something to be earned. Love is a gift.
Something very cool happened this year that I wasn’t really expecting. To date I have 74 subscribers and average over 100 hits per day. That may not be a big deal in the larger scheme of things but it means a lot to me. I now have ‘virtual’ friends in India, England, the States, Europe and the Philippines. I sincerely appreciate every one of you. Your comments, emails and encouragement reminds me that there are many of us all over the world that see through the pop media’s perpetual death chant and get what life is about.
Love. Perspective. Communication. Experience. Laughter.
I will continue to write. It is just that the self induced pressure is off now.
Thank you for accompanying me on this journey!
With Love,
Chris:)
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6 comments | tags: appreciation, art love, canadian writers, completion of a goal, creative writing, death chant, England, europe, friends, global community, gratitude, how to accomplish goals, how to appreciate people, journaling, london, love, love art, media, post a day challenge, the philippines, The United States, virtual friends, what is life about? | posted in Love
Years ago I had a strange vision during alpha state. That is what I call the moment right before we fall asleep and this state can bring about some interesting occurrences.
In this particular case, I was a fly caught in a spider’s web. The more I struggled to get out, the more entangled I became. I saw the spider crawl out of the web hole rushing toward me, twisting me in a silky substance, spinning and spinning until I could no longer move. I stopped struggling.
And then I felt it.
It was like a large sharpened steel needle piercing the top of my head and shooting down my spine electrifying me. Suddenly, I felt my consciousness liquefy as I was drained out into the body of the thirsty spider.
It was black and quiet for a moment.
I felt satisfied as I retreated back to my web hole.
***
What do I gather that experience was about? I’m not entirely sure but it made me look at life cycles in a new way. I used to think that predator and prey were opposites. I suppose the appearance of separate bodies lends to that illusion but life is life and all life is one life.
The predator and the prey are one. Sustenance and challenge is what they offer one another.
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Leave a comment | tags: alpha brain wave state, animal speak, canadian writers, creative writing, flies, fun stories, meditation, psychology, shapeshifting, spider and flies, spiders, strange occurrences, tranformations, winnipeg writers | posted in Art
100. We call them our “pets”. We call ourselves “owners or masters”. We tell them to sit for food and they seem to obey. But as observed from above, human beings are pulled behind on leashes while picking up poop and driving to the store to get them food. So who is the master again?
101. There is only one dimension. It just happens to be multi-dimensional.
102. If there were five people in a room watching T.V. and we suddenly remove the concept of T.V. we would see five people sitting in silence while staring at a wall avoiding one another.
103. I am just a moment.
104. Weeds grow in the soil of regret when we do not tend to our dreams.
105. You will never see a used coffin salesman.
106. There are no flaws in Truth. Only flaws in our ideas about Truth.
107. Secret societies have become so popular these days. I now know that the best way to market something is to call it a secret. Perhaps I should have called my poetry book “secret poems”.
108. Yuor bairn is albe to udnertsnad tihs snetence eevn tghouh olny the frist and lsat ltetres of ecah wrod are crreoct.
109. Thought is both generative and derivative. We get to direct the current. The truth in natural law is that the positive always drives the show. Think about the atom. The proton is coupled with the neutron while the electron whirls about creating the appearance of phenomena. The power of the positive nature is that it moves forward regardless. Negativity is dust in the wind.
110. Everyone is retarded in light of their own potential.
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2 comments | tags: canadian artists, canadian writers, fire arms, I can spell spontaneous correctly, randomness, sponaneous creation, stocking stuffers, thoughts, treading water, winnipeg men, winnipeg writers | posted in Art
The amygdala is a little almond shaped mass of grey matter that rests in the center of our brain. While it is linked to our sense of smell and emotions, it has a very important function fundamentally; to ensure our survival.
Ironically, the same mechanism that has ensured our survival for thousands of years has the tendency to hold us hostage.
When the amygdala runs the show, our brains are alerted that anything new, different, successful or unknown is a perceived threat. While the function of the amygdala is still important to our survival, it is up to each of us to become conscious of its influence and act accordingly. I bow my head in silence to all of the great innovations, new ideas and potential loving connections that died with brains that allowed the little fear-based brain to run the show. Gives a whole new way of “thinking with our little head” does it not?
Nowadays, safe is risky because it holds back innovation and new thought. Comfort and convenience ensure our consent and complacency to an oppressive ideology. Growth is uncomfortable and comes with risk. Again, the irony is that if we as a species do not grow we will perish. The very mechanism put in place to ensure our survival will kill us unless we become aware of this.
The brain is a problem solving machine. It is natural to feel uncomfortable when we do not have an answer and our brain immediately gets to work on the appropriate solution. When we input problems into the brain, we create unrest and the brain must re-organize and make new connections until the problem is solved. The brain has a natural state of rest but it must be consistently challenged and kept sharp.
The absolute best way to grow muscle is through a method called “muscle confusion”. If you do the same workout routine day in day out you will eventually experience a plateau. The muscles recognize the pattern and adapt to the routine. They are done growing because they have successfully reached optimal size to support what is being asked of them. Muscle confusion works by placing the muscles under constant challenge so that no adaptation is possible. The result is that the body begins to form an optimal state in order to deal with the unknown stress that it is consistently subjected to.
The brain is similar in that it will form an optimal state of functioning the more it is kept on its proverbial toes. A great danger that we as humans have is an identity crisis. Ask; what are we fundamentally? We have become conditioned to respond by mentioning a title or position. I am a doctor, teacher, dad, janitor, manager and so on. In this we create stasis and stagnancy. Our brain has done its job and is running purely on maintainance mode. The trouble is that when something new, different and perhaps completely desirable comes along, we perceive threat and seek to protect our comfort zone. Also, you may find yourself relieved from your job as (insert title/position here) and could be devastated. Who are you now?
What we are is an opportunity.
If we had “how to use your brain” manuals in school we would not be in the predicament that we as a species find ourselves in. That being said, it wouldn’t be in the best interests of those who seek to control us to freely give us that manual. Instead we are subject to 15 years or more of public indoctrination via schooling. Education is entirely different.
Thank God we have a choice to become aware and activate the potential are brain holds. After all, the brain is a success mechanism. Make getting out of your comfort zone your new comfort zone. You are fundamentally, an opportunity.
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Leave a comment | tags: amygdala, brain science, canadian writers, crossfit, education, identity, intelligence, muscle confusion, opportunities, school systems, success, survival as a species | posted in Art
Again I find myself sitting here staring down the barrel of a blank page with no inspiration to write anything. ”It has to be real and from the heart” my brain echos to itself. I’ve looked up “blog topics” on the internet and have two articles in the draft folder that I currently think are shit. What to do?
I’m taking my own advice. Just start writing. Don’t wait for some magic moment. GO!!!! So here I am writing about not being able to write. I have always believed these posts to be some of the best because they are honest. Not that my other posts are not but, there is something very honest about admitting that I get stuck and stumble. We’re human after all. What a strange sentiment; “I’m only human and I make mistakes”. It’s like we have this built-in mechanism that establishes our rank to a God of perfection. I wonder if animals every say “I’m only animal and I fling feces at others”? What an interesting experience we humans are in. Between Gods and Beasts.
What was I saying? Oh yeah… I don’t have anything to write about.
Maybe it’s the pressure of the final stretch. I’m just shy of 300 posts for my post a day for a year challenge and I’m starting to think in terms of quantity. That’s a bad move because it shuts down my creativity and establishes my mental accountant. Bean counters shouldn’t run the creative department. I admit that I thought “oh, only 69 posts left til 365. If I do 7 posts a day for the next 10 days and program them, I will be finished.” How lame is that? Definitely NOT inspiring. That’s a production line.
I do believe that when it comes to creativity we have the ability to shut ourselves down. ”I’m not a creative person”, “I can’t write”, “I’m going to get it over with by treating my creativity like a production line” are phrases that I have heard and the last one is what I thought. After reading this, I’m reminded that this is us being creative. By saying “I’m not creative” we are using our creativity to create and enforce that circumstance in our life.
I entitled this post “blocked” because that is how I felt today. Then I remembered my rule…
Just write. Just paint. Just start.
… because the walls are not real. They are perceived.
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2 comments | tags: art love, canadian writers, creative writing, evolution, how to be a better writer, love art, the love of art, the love of writing, winnipeg writers, writers block, writers in winnipeg | posted in Art
You cannot catch your dreams if you are afraid to go for it.

And if you are going to go for it then you better give it your all regardless of any perceive obstacles.
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1 comment | tags: art love, Balls?, canadian writers, courage, fear, get it?, i bet that guy in the photo wishes he had tried harder to have "balls", love art, overcomers, overcoming obstacles, winnipeg writers | posted in Fear
1. Never tell a joke twice at a party:
A) Everyone heard you the first time.
B) The joke was not funny and…
C) now you really look stupid.
2. ”Open Mike” night at a gay bar is waaaaaaaaaay different from “open mic” night at a straight bar.
3. What was Jesus’s yearly income?
4. No matter what language we speak; A E I O U can be blended together by singing and should probably done on a regular basis by all of us.
5. I think that a funny alias would be AKA or Also known as. That way people would have to say “Chris, also known as also known as”.
6. The entire stock market is a psychological trick founded on the idea that some other idiot will pay more for the same fake intangible idea that you just bought into.
7. Beaver or Polar Bear? This is the great Canadian debate right now. Wow! No wonder we are seen as the global retard. At least we are on the front lines of what is truly important.
8. I’m a big fan of the beaver myself.
9. One of my favorite and harshest Japanese insults is “may you become enlightened in a day”. I will never say this to anyone however. I personally know that this is a nightmare from a bad acid experience 15 years ago that took me about two years to revover from. Trust me, you do not want to know everything at once! Our bodies and psyches are not meant to handle that and I thank God every single day that I didn’t wind up with a big dirty beard screaming about the government to people trying to enjoy their lunch break downtown.
10. Two random food product ideas: Cookies in the shape of ancient Egyptian mummies called “yummy mummies” and rooster shaped suckers. Think about that last one.
11. If life gives you lemons then ask yourself the following question: Did I order lemons? Because I will tell you this; if you ordered lemonade and a waiter brings you a bunch of lemons; and attempts to tell you some bullshit chiche about making lemonade, then send them back. Why do you have to “make lemonade” when he obviously fucked up your order?
12. There is absolutely no forseeable reason for a horn on a car other than to be an asshole. Worst case scenario; you are about to run over someone and you honk your horn. All you will do is alert that person that you are about to run over them. If I’m at a traffic light and don’t notice that it is green for 5 seconds and you honk… you are an asshole.
13. I love the number 13. It is a number of mystery and has this really interesting irregularity to it.
14. Western culture is absurd in that fact that people living on a “14th” floor somehow believe that they are safer because they don’t call it the 13th floor due to bad luck. I’m pretty sure that a low flying, out of control airplane has no prejudice between the number 13 & 14. Chinese culture at least believes the number 13 to be a good luck number. Then again, the wealthiest Chinese couples pay top dollar for Cuban fishermen to cut off the fins of sharks. They eat this in order to increase their vitality. I wonder if the dying, finless shark thought about the number 13 as she wriggled toward the ocean floor?
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Leave a comment | tags: 13, 13 and chinese culture, 13 and western culture, art in winnipeg, bad luck, bad luck 13, canadian writers, creative writing, cultural absurdity, do tags matter?, great canadian writers, life is good and who cares?, social commentary, superstition, the number thirteen, winnipeg writers, writing lessons | posted in Art
Fear is the biggest lie. The truth is that we have nothing to fear when we trust or have faith. Shitty things may still happen but this is when we learn and grow. The point is to overcome and keep overcoming. Besides, what is the worst that could happen? You die? So what? That’s life and I assure you that you will grow from that experience too.
There are many lies in this world that keep us from living our full potential or a completely joyous life. Scarcity is one. We are tricked into beLIEving that there isn’t enough to go around so we climb all over each other for scraps of shit. All the while we are kings and queens. ”I can’t” is another lie and typically translates as “I won’t” which is carefully protected by a pile of defensive excuses. Congratulations!!! You get to live in the mindset of your choice.
Part of the biggest lie; fear, is that we’ve become a permission based entity. We don’t move unless the big authority says to and we wait for permission to speak, think or act. How many opportunities will we allow ourselves to miss out on because we are fearful? This is our conditioning and psychosis.
What are we really afraid of? Things won’t work out? We’ll be criticized? We’ll get hurt or punished? Death? The future?
For starters, the future does NOT exist!!! You are absolutely not afraid of the future. It’s a ghost. What you fear is a projection based on your past experiences. That’s it. I know it seems real but we truly swim in an infinite ocean of love, abundance, grace and experience. We are rich beyond our wildest dreams. Do we know this without doubt? That is the trillion-dollar question.
Often we think of a lie as an act. ”He or she lied to me”. Not really. We build the patterns of our experience based on the story we perpetually tell ourselves. This is not the type of lie that I’m talking about. I’m pointing out the biggest lie. Fear. It is a shadow of love and it has become like an invisible cloak that we do not even realize we are wearing. The spell is starting to wear off. The effects of a poison apple can only last for so long. Stop pushing snooze and wake up.
If you want to dance or sing or go to school or quit your job or learn french or travel the world or help people or love more or speak up at a company meeting about your awesome idea…
Then I officially give you permission to do so.
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3 comments | tags: art fear, art winnipeg, authority, canadian artists, canadian writers, fear, fear of criticism, fear of love, free lance writers, freelance writers in winnipeg, how to create trust, inhibition, irrational fears, love of fear, mindset, positive thinking, psychosis, questioning authority, the big lie, trust, winnipeg art, winnipeg artists, winnipeg writers, writers in winnipeg | posted in Fear
Ran Dumb Thoughts
1. Never tell a joke twice at a party:
A) Everyone heard you the first time.
B) The joke was not funny and…
C) now you really look stupid.
2. ”Open Mike” night at a gay bar is waaaaaaaaaay different from “open mic” night at a straight bar.
3. What was Jesus’s yearly income?
4. No matter what language we speak; A E I O U can be blended together by singing and should probably done on a regular basis by all of us.
5. I think that a funny alias would be AKA or Also known as. That way people would have to say “Chris, also known as also known as”.
6. The entire stock market is a psychological trick founded on the idea that some other idiot will pay more for the same fake intangible idea that you just bought into.
7. Beaver or Polar Bear? This is the great Canadian debate right now. Wow! No wonder we are seen as the global retard. At least we are on the front lines of what is truly important.
8. I’m a big fan of the beaver myself.
9. One of my favorite and harshest Japanese insults is “may you become enlightened in a day”. I will never say this to anyone however. I personally know that this is a nightmare from a bad acid experience 15 years ago that took me about two years to revover from. Trust me, you do not want to know everything at once! Our bodies and psyches are not meant to handle that and I thank God every single day that I didn’t wind up with a big dirty beard screaming about the government to people trying to enjoy their lunch break downtown.
10. Two random food product ideas: Cookies in the shape of ancient Egyptian mummies called “yummy mummies” and rooster shaped suckers. Think about that last one.
11. If life gives you lemons then ask yourself the following question: Did I order lemons? Because I will tell you this; if you ordered lemonade and a waiter brings you a bunch of lemons; and attempts to tell you some bullshit chiche about making lemonade, then send them back. Why do you have to “make lemonade” when he obviously fucked up your order?
12. There is absolutely no forseeable reason for a horn on a car other than to be an asshole. Worst case scenario; you are about to run over someone and you honk your horn. All you will do is alert that person that you are about to run over them. If I’m at a traffic light and don’t notice that it is green for 5 seconds and you honk… you are an asshole.
13. I love the number 13. It is a number of mystery and has this really interesting irregularity to it.
14. Western culture is absurd in that fact that people living on a “14th” floor somehow believe that they are safer because they don’t call it the 13th floor due to bad luck. I’m pretty sure that a low flying, out of control airplane has no prejudice between the number 13 & 14. Chinese culture at least believes the number 13 to be a good luck number. Then again, the wealthiest Chinese couples pay top dollar for Cuban fishermen to cut off the fins of sharks. They eat this in order to increase their vitality. I wonder if the dying, finless shark thought about the number 13 as she wriggled toward the ocean floor?
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Leave a comment | tags: 13, 13 and chinese culture, 13 and western culture, art in winnipeg, bad luck, bad luck 13, canadian writers, creative writing, cultural absurdity, do tags matter?, great canadian writers, life is good and who cares?, social commentary, superstition, the number thirteen, winnipeg writers, writing lessons | posted in Art