141. Although no one is entirely clear on the great toilet paper breakthrough, it is rumored to date back beyond the Tang Dynasty of 618 to 907 AD where archeologists found paper/cloth bundles. The great toilet paper breakthrough of 1920 from a marketers perspective was when it became commercially available by Joseph Gayetty. From my perspective, toilet paper breakthroughs are gross and leave you with shit on your fingers.
142. I watched a movie called The Hunger Games. Lenny Kravitz was one of the actors and he was quite good. Immediately I thought, “great!!! Now that Lenny Kravitz is acting in films he can stop acting like a terrible singer in real life.
143. I cannot for the life of me remember what disease Lou Gehrig died from.
144. Why was Usher smiling when he walked out of the dressing room?
Because he was just in Bieber.
145. This is Beerking…
It’s a sport invented by me and my friend James. It is a simple sport involving riding bikes around town while drinking beer. We believe this qualifies as a sport. It’s non-competitive and the worst part of the game being over is that you’re out of beer. I do not however, condone riding with no hands and taking pictures of your self beerking. That is not part of this sport.
146. A good iPhone app and excellent way to be sued would be an app to monitor ones bowel movements/keep track of successes or concerns. I call it, “iBM”
147. I’ve been learning a lot about Braxton Hicks contractions. Is there a redneck town called Braxton? I’m pretty sure these false labor pangs were named after two doctors but it would be cooler if it was named when slack-jawed yokels made a woman’s belly contract just by their unruly presence. Hey ma!!!! its dem Braxton Hicks at the door!!! They want to know if they can use the kiddy pool for their beer”!!! Get it? Because they’re hicks from a place called Braxton? No?
148. The term ‘working under the table’ in Canada refers to receiving cash and not reporting it to the tax mafia. I don’t get it? If you give me 10 beans for painting your room why on Earth would I be forced to give 3 of those beans to people whose sole purpose is to take beans from people?
149. I hired 2 homeless people to work for me the other day. I made them work under the table. Not for cash. I gave them both cheques and some bread. I actually forced them to work under the table outside. ”Now that’s what I call working under the table”!! I said to my business partner as we clanged our glass of champange.
150. Good god, I’ve done 150 of these random thoughts. What is wrong with me? When I confessed my dream a few years ago about becoming a writer I wasn’t thinking it through. I meant “writer that makes money from his endeavors”. Next time, I’ll be clearer Mr. Universe.