Tag Archives: charlie sheen

Trolls

I was so proud to receive my first negative comment from someone named Pipedaddysgirl.  It makes for great future material or at very least, something (or someone) to make light of.  After I responded to their comments a friend of mine in the computer industry informed me of what are called “Trolls”.  Long before Charlie Sheen gave any one that title, there are people who spend their time leaving negative comments on web-sites.  Whether they do this to be assholes or because they’re bored or to trying to invoke a response I don’t know.  Programmers/designers call them trolls for some reason.  The following two paragraphs are the comments left by pipedaddysgirl and my response to her or him from the post called “pipefitter” 

Pipedaddysgirl…

I strongly agree with you on this important issue! You do have the brain capacity of a thirteen year old minus ten years! Man you really need a life or some company!I guess ignorance is bliss. Anyways who gives a rat’s cunt about what a craftsman calls himself? Do titles tickle your little itty bitty brain like that??? Or are you so ignorant to the fact that they make $30 – $40 dollars an hour on 40hrs plus nearly 30 hrs extra in overtime every week? Do the math and if your brain can’t that’s basically $1500-%2000 a week or 6000 to 8000 grand a month!!! Guess who’s laughing now baby!

My response…

a few things… Thank you very much for your comment. I always love enthusiasm in rebuttals. I’m not insulted by the brain capacity comments because it is way more telling of someone’s personality to make such judgement calls based on a single blog post. I really enjoy playing with words and love when I can entertain, inspire, annoy, provoke thought or piss people off.  So again, thank you for unwittingly participating in my social experiment. Lastly, I appreciate the trades (pipefitters) and what these fine folks do. That being said, working 70 hours a week to make “6000 to 8000 grand” a month as you say, would take away from my quality time with family, friends and doing the things that bring joy to life so no thanks. I’d rather sell books about my stupid thoughts which bring me a financial return of similar proportions. By the way, wouldn’t “6000 grand” as you call it be $6,000,000? or did you mean 6 grand?  If the former, then maybe I’d consider going into the trades. Thanks again.


Drugs and other hypocrisies

Just say “no” to drugs…

…Unless of course they can make pharmaceutical companies/governments a shit-load of money and shut down the people’s ability to heal themselves.

I got all excited when I saw this sign because I was ready to take a rocket ship to the fuckin moon man!  [insert goat's horn fingers and metalhead face with tongue sticking out here].  I rushed into the store only to find out that they, in fact had no catalyst for me to expand my mind with.

That made me sad but I resisted the zoloft because they said it would give me “anal leakage”.

I’d rather be sad thanks.


Going to jail

I wonder if anyone has ever attempted to break into jail? 

Breaking out is a crime but is breaking in?  Let’s say that you tried this and got caught.  I supposed they would arrest you and bring you before a judge that would inevitably send you to the same jail that you tried to break into.

At that point you could exclaim, “Ha!  Jokes on you fuckers… mission accomplished”.

However, in reality the joke’s on you because you’re now experiencing anal rape while in jail for break and enter after reading some moron’s blog post. 

It is becoming increasingly apparent that I have way too much time on my hands.


Idea #4

Last year I fired the government on the grounds of fraud, non-disclosure and gross negligence>>>

I have a receipt for the initial securites transaction and desire to make a return.  My attempts at making a return have been thus far unsuccessful.  The customer service is terrible.

The first sentence may be off-putting but I assure you that this is NOT an anti-government rant.  The second sentence requires explanation.

Idea #4 is not really an idea.  It is about how we operate in the commercial law game. 

The fact is that in order for ‘currency’ to exist there must be a bond (security or pledge) backing it and something to ‘charge’ it.  The principles are fundamentally the same as electricity.   

Here is what happens when you use a bank for a ‘loan’:  A bond is created by you in the form of a securities pledge (commercial agreement).  On the agreement you promise that you will go to work to pay back money that YOU issued.  THE CREDIT IS CREATED BY YOUR SIGNATURE; not the bank.  This isn’t the point however…

The point is that due to the bankruptcy in 1960 our governments had to do the same in order to fund operations.  The bankruptcy stemmed from the signing of the Bank Act in 1913.  This act transferred the money authoring rights to private central banks who issue interest bearing debt currency.  The bonds backing this currency are based on labor pledges by the government to the central banks.  Before 1913, the people authorized the government to create enough non interest bearing credit to facilitate its operations and the people’s needs.  It was backed by gold and the confidence of a people working together. 

Nowadays, the pledge backing the bonds issued to the central banks is the estimated value on the future labor of people associated to legal titles.  Anyone who has had a baby in the past 60 or 70 years has been presented with a registry of live birth which the parents are informed they must sign.  This records the event of birth and issues a “legal name” or “person” or “individual” as defined by law dictionaries.   These words are not english words though they appear to be.  If you look on all of your ”I.D. you will find a name in all capital letters.  This is your corporation and not you.  That is an important distinction to become aware of. 

The name that is on any birth certificate is a title that was used to create a bond in order to receive credit from the central banks.  The bond is based on the value of the human being associated with the name  in the form of future labor.  Here’s the fun part; the name is in debt to the human being associated with the original event of birth.       

What this means is simple.  The people.  The actual living and breathing people are the principal commercial energy to the account.  We’re the creditors or funders in commercial terms.  In trust law we are the beneficiary to the estate.  When I use the word ’estate’ I am including the original bond, all currency that was generated from the bond, all investments (businesses and returns) that the currency was diverted into and any other benefit derived from the creation and use of the “name”. 

What were we taught to do with the name and our signature at a certain age?  Apply for benefits, get a Social Number, get a job to start paying for stuff and file for taxes.  This is a bait and switch tactic.  When we apply for all of these ’benefits’ by signing documents, we effectively consent to being the trustee/administrator for the account/name.  We then begin to function as the debtor.  The crown or state becomes the beneficiary and the ‘representatives’ that we ‘elect’ become the executors to the accounts.  The process of using the name as identification and applying for benefits actually reverses the balance of power.

All of the above is the grounds on which I fired the government and began the lawful communication process of correcting this error. 

To the people who will struggle to wrap their mind around this; please stop.  Imagine instead, that you just found out that you are a major share holder in an incredibly profitable company.  All you technically have to do is bring your stock certificate and credentials to head office.  The first problem that you encounter is that the company’s customer service completely sucks ass and the security guards think they are in charge. 

The second problem is a matter of will and perseverance.  Let’s say that you are a patient shareholder who understands that the people in the company have no idea who you really are because YOU kept informing them that you were “just a customer“ for all of these years.  

To move forward with this requires us to first understand that we made a mistake based on mis-leading information and non-disclosure of facts in a contract (implied or other-wise).  Would you honestly consent to losing access to ten million dollars plus dividends in exchange for having to work to pay for a commercial war against the people?  That would be crazy right?

My final thoughts:

This isn’t a conspiracy.  It is history.  The fact is that the birth certificate is a receipt for a securities deposit and you are the principal energy to the accounts.  The government knows this.  We will not be able to access these accounts for selfish purposes however.  It has to be for the common good of all people.  Food, water, clothing and shelter are not selfish purposes; they are unalienable rights. 

We as the principal creditors to the account and shareholders have a right to direct the flow.  The problem is that most people don’t know this and have zero idea as to where to direct the money.  My vote would be to direct it toward Idea #2 and Idea #3 but I’m bias.  I would however suggest that we vote for ideas as opposed to representatives with their own bullshit ideas or interest.  This way the representatives entire job is based on making the ideas that people vote for come into fruition.  If they don’t do their job, they don’t have that job anymore.  This is what every successful company in the world does.  Until that point in our maturity as a species, most of us will continue to go to work for money in order to pay for stuff that’s already been paid for with labor, fund a global war and perpetuate our own slavery via technology.  Unless, of course we wake up.    

Standing committee on Banking and Commerce


10 more random thoughts

This is an addendum to 13 random thoughts

1.  If I had a cat, I would name it pss pss pss pss pss.  Part of its name would be me wiggling my fingers together.  This is the only way to get a cat to come to you so please stop fooling yourself by calling them fluffy or Mr. Higgins.

2. Why do we say “ass-less” chaps?  Aren’t all chaps ass-less?  I’m trying to think up a word for chaps that aren’t ass-less.  Hmmm, oh yeah, they are called “LEATHER PANTS”

3.  Some people have said to me, ”Oh yeah, well you just want your cake and eat it to!”.  Let me ask those people this question:  Why the fuck would you have a cake… and not eat it?  Now, I’m a masochist in various ways but I will tell you this; I’m eating the fucking cake.

4.  Let’s say that you have sex with a cooked turkey and then you eat that turkey.  Would you be more tired because you just had sex or because of the tryptophan coursing through your blood stream?

5.  I started to ask homeless people for spare change.  My reasoning is simple.  Who’s likely to have change?  Me?  Or the guy who spends his entire day asking for spare change?

6.  The faces that animals make while humping are hilarious.  I use the word ’humping’ because no one has taught them any other way.  Animals hump.  They get all serious and make faces of confusion mixed with joy.   

7.  If you say ‘humping’ in reference to people you’d better be about 9 years old.  Otherwise you may be dysfunctional.

8.  I don’t typically go to see female strippers unless it’s for some stupid stag because a group of guys can’t think outside of the box.  Get it?  “box”? (that’s a slang word for vagina).   Anyways, females are at least beautiful, elegant and graceful so it’s somewhat enjoyable despite the old creepy drunk dude staring them down.  Male strippers however are awkward.  They might as well just do that flip-flappy thing with their penises that so many girlfriends/wives tend to roll their eyes at.  Just in case you can’t visualize this, it sounds like this:  whip whap whip whap whip whap whip whap!

9.  Do Asian circle jerks end with a bunch of guys cumming on a fortune cookie?  Does the loser who has to eat the cookie also have to read the sopping wet fortune that says, “you will find wisdom amongst close friends”?

10.  The award winners that get to the podium and say “I’m living proof that if you just believe and go for your dreams they’ll come true”.  Haha.  They say this to all of the others that totally went for their dreams and DIDN’T succeed.  Unless of course the dreams of those that failed were to not have a job, lose their wife and have the car repossessed.  Then I say, “congratulations!!!”  I always believed in you.


Winning Recipes

I applied for Charlie Sheens’ internship.  I didn’t get the job.  Although, I too am winning and have both tiger’s blood and adonis dna, I assume it was strictly because I don’t have a vagina.  Dammit!  Oh well, it’s all for the best because I probably wouldn’t leave the house if I had a vagina.  

The other reason could be because I wrote the application thinking that Charlie might be overseeing the process.  I’m assuming that he’s busy and has hired internships.com to do his bidding and sorting.  Sorry, I don’t have a piece of paper that says I graduated from social media school.  Does anyone?  3.1 million hits says that the peek-a-boo kitten on youtube has a degree in social media. 

At the end of the day it’s probably for the best.  Would two months with Charlie be healthy for my addictive personality?  Or would I of just ended up back in Winnipeg addicted to crack and beating up prostitutes?  We probably would not have been a winning recipe…   

This video of Charlie is a funnyordie.com exclusive.  Through the magic of copy and paste, mixed with a touch of ‘I don’t give a shit about copyrights’ I present to you Charlie Sheens’ ‘winning recipes’ through my blog.  I attempted this recipe and my head exploded.  Luckily, this only happened in my mind and my head is fine.  What was I saying?  Oh yeah…. 

Watch the video!


Sunday Blues

I used to get the Sunday blues.  Basically, every Sunday at or around 9pm I would be overcome by uncontrollable feelings of sadness.  The only thing that I could pinpoint this to was the fact that I had to get up Monday and go to work at a job that my heart was no longer in.  Boo hoo. 

So I resigned. 

Now, I no longer suffer from the Sunday blues. 

Instead of waking up Monday morning to go to a thankless job in -40 degrees celsius, I wake up with a subtle anxiety followed by pacing about the house for approximately one hour.  Some days I work on my book.  Other days I produce music.  At times I go for coffee with friends.  Mostly, I pace about.  I do this to prevent slipping into the abyss of self-reflection which inevitably turns into self-loathing. 

Blogging is a great outlet because I get to share my inner-most thoughts with you, the reader… though you most likely came to this site because I tagged it with “Charlie Sheen”.  Regardless, this keeps me from pacing about my house.  I’m entertained.  You’re entertained.  Win/Win right? 

I knew I had it made when a friend of mine exclaimed “thank God it’s Friday” and my response was, “it’s Friday?”.  He quickly turned his head to look at me and said ”fuck you”. 

This one time I woke up from a nap at about 4pm and had to go pick up something from the store.  As I was returning home I thought, “what is with all of this fucking traffic?”  Right then it occurred to me that this is what most people do everyday at 5:30pm after sitting in an office all day waiting for 5pm.  That’s crazy!  I just needed to pick up some hair gel.  What an inconvenience all of these people were because I needed to get home in time for the pizza guy.   

Periodically, I suffer from doubt.  Occasionally I may wind up in the fetal position under the kitchen table.  This however beats the living shit out of the predictability of the Sunday blues.


Rant 1

It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.    – Upton Sinclair

A system that derives its fundamental success from the numeration and automation of the human element cannot possibly serve the best interests of Humanity.     – Chris Scholl

Wow, the guy who said that second quote is really smart ;)   I thought I would use this post to share some important information.  My thoughts go from the profound to the profane within seconds sometimes.  Shit jokes and Metaphysics aside, I am a huge fan of Truth.  I also recognize that Truth can be a huge problem for some people.  When I first began to research information about the foundations of our monetary system, legal names, governments, bonds and the controlling elite I was excited to share what I had found.  While there has been a close group of friends and associates who support the findings or research it on their own, there has been a lot more resistance.  The main problem with Truth is when it confronts our thoughts, behaviors and the systems that we attach our security to.  When we are willing to suspend these attachments we have a real opportunity to grow.  

My intention here is to simply share a video and ask that you, the viewer to do your best to suspend those attachments.  Try the info on like a pair of pants that you are considering purchasing.  

Researching on the internet is like digging out gold nuggets from huge piles of dog crap.  Another funny aspect to people researching on the internet is their intent.  I keep mentioning my good friend Charlie Sheen in my posts for a reason.

The video “Hijacking Humanity”


It’s not so cute when he’s 45

Ya know when a baby walks out of a room naked, pulling and playing with his penis?  It’s not so cute when he’s 45!

My friend Dave’s ex-wife called him exclaiming, “our son just poo’d in the toilet all by himself” and he came out of the washroom saying “mommy, I just poo’d”.  Yeah, not so cute when he’s 45.

I watched a 4-year-old boy point at a man with a deformity and yell “Daddy, what’s wrong with that guys face?”.  Ok… That would be kind of cute when he’s 45.

There was the 3-year-old screaming in the mall because he didn’t get some stupid toy or candy that life would just fucking end without.  That is definitely NOT cute when he’s 45 and certainly NOT cute at age 3 either.  Actually, at age 45 the toy would be a “pay-raise” and the candy would be “booze”.  NOT cute!!!

And then there’s the two 8 year olds standing in the washroom comparing genitalia and perhaps exploring.  Not so cute at age 45.

… especially when your friend is still 8.


Nothing

I love emptiness.  I love allowing myself space to breathe and think.  I click “add new post” with no idea of what I would write about today.  I began this post-a-day challenge about 25 days ago and thus far have been successful.  I have found that the most effortless way of doing anything is to NOT over-think it.  Instead of forcing myself to think of something, I just let it come naturally.  I do this with any public speaking that I’ve done as well.  My biggest fear in this is that I’ll be standing there in front of a group of people with my mouth wide open and no words coming from it.  As with most fears… it never happens. 

It’s my Nephew Kai’s birthday today.  He’s 8.  I love him.  Talking to a kid on the phone is like interrogating someone invoking the fifth amendment however.  Here’s the gist of our conversation…

Chris:  Happy birthday buddy, how’s it going?  

Kai: Good.

Chris:  Are you having a good day?

Kai:  Yes.

Chris:  How was hockey?

Kai:  Good.

Chris:  Did you win?

Kai:  No.

Chris:  That sucks.  Next time eh?

Kai:  Yes.

Chris:  Well… oh hey… would you look at the time.  I gotta go.  Here’s Grandma.  I love you.

Kai:  Ok. Bye.  

I’m not picking on my nephew.  It’s like this with every kid that I have ever talked to on the phone.  I can only imagine the rigorous screening process that the producers of the T.V. show ‘Kids say the darndest things’ put the kids through.  “how are you today Billy?”  “Good.”… NEXT!!!

On a completely different note:  My post about life, love and compassion scored me a whopping 4 hits on my blog while my mention of Mr. Charlie Sheen in the last post was the most hits that I have had yet.  I will tag this post with Charlie’s name and when the masses arrive they can all kiss my ass while asking ”what the fuck does this site have to do with Charlie Sheen?”  If you are marketing anything new or different then you need to know that your fundamental competition is the status quo. 

So this post is the answer to my question:  What happens when I sit down with no pre-conceived idea and write?  Not bad I suppose.  I know that I can do better though.  Thank God that tomorrow is another blank canvass to paint on:) 

 Happy Birthday Kai.  I love you.

Ps.  Kai means ‘Life force’


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