Some people say that they wouldn’t go back and change anything because it made them who they are today. I would. I would go back and change the choices I made that hurt other people. Those didn’t make me who I am today. Those leave me filled with remorse and they reduce the other. I wouldn’t change it in order to rid myself of remorse. I would change it to rid the other of the hurt. I realize that some times we have to make decisions for our own health, safety or sanity that others will be affected by but I am not talking about that. I now believe that most emotional hurt comes from either our own fear and attachment to specific circumstances or selfishness. Either way, fear is present.
I have felt hurt and I have caused hurt. Every single time this has happened it was because I or the other were acting in a selfish manner. We have all done this and this is why forgiveness is so important. Fucking hard. Sometimes almost impossible but nevertheless important. Forgiveness is freedom. Blame will consume us.
But what do I know? Perhaps all of it happens for a reason. All I know is this: I desire to love as much as possible because my eyes have been opened to something real. My struggle is that my past selfishness and fear continually bite at my heals. I have to be so diligent to pull these weeds. Otherwise all of my words are empty.