Tag Archives: meditation

January 30, 2012

The Spider and the Fly

By Love, Art & Fear

Years ago I had a strange vision during alpha state.  That is what I call the moment right before we fall asleep and this state can bring about some interesting occurrences.

In this particular case, I was a fly caught in a spider’s web.  The more I struggled to get out, the more entangled I became.  I saw the spider crawl out of the web hole rushing toward me, twisting me in a silky substance, spinning and spinning until I could no longer move.  I stopped struggling.

And then I felt it.

It was like a large sharpened steel needle piercing the top of my head and shooting down my spine electrifying me.  Suddenly, I felt my consciousness liquefy as I was drained out into the body of the thirsty spider.

It was black and quiet for a moment.

I felt satisfied as I retreated back to my web hole.

***

What do I gather that experience was about?  I’m not entirely sure but it made me look at life cycles in a new way.  I used to think that predator and prey were opposites.  I suppose the appearance of separate bodies lends to that illusion but life is life and all life is one life.

The predator and the prey are one.  Sustenance and challenge is what they offer one another.

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December 20, 2011

Joy

By Love, Art & Fear

I prefer joy over happiness.

Happiness comes from happenstance.  The root meaning to this word is ‘lucky’.  The pursuit of happiness is too risky for me.  It kind of implies that circumstances need to be just right.

Joy is different.  Joy is radiance and radiance has a core.  This core is deep inside of you.  The question is what are we radiating?  Do we have a joy that radiates from our core or are we troubled, hoping that circumstances will be just right one day?

You do not need to change any circumstance in your life in order to feel joy right now.

Here’s a simple exercise:

Take 3 deep breaths and let your shoulders drop.  Smile (even if it’s fake).  Remember a simple moment in your past where you experienced joy or laughter.  Recall everything that you can about that experience and recreate that feeling of joy.  Remind yourself that this feeling is always present and does not require anyone or anything to make it so.  Practice this until you can just say the word “joy” and your heart feels lighter.

This is the core of who we are.

We are like suns.  We radiate outward.  We also receive but that is secondary to what we give.

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October 7, 2011

The whole

By Love, Art & Fear

I broke off a piece of a large blade of grass the other day and studied it.  I was in meditation and contemplating life.  Some might say this is deep but it is not.  It is what happens when we come up for air.

There I was contemplating the wholeness of this blade of grass then I broke it in two.  Now what?  Was it two or one?  In what ways was it two?  In what ways was it still one?  How could it be put back together?  How can “I” say that “I” broke anything in two when all there is, is one whole?  Who am I?  Am I not the grass as well?

All I did was implement a change the cognitive field.  The memory of the blade of grass was altered in the moment that I tore it in two.  Or was it?  I could provide evidence in a court of law that it was originally “one thing” but the fact is that I now held two pieces of grass in my hand. 

So what is this?  Is it one or two?  Or none?  Or both?

What is the grass made of besides molecules? 

Ok.  So I broke it in two and the molecules adjusted to the new memory.  Here’s the thing…

The blade of grass is made of molecules.  So is the air supposedly separating the now two pieces of grass.  I too am made of molecules.  Molecules are measurements and structures.  What are they made of?  Atoms.  What are they made of?  Electrons, Protons and Neutrons?  Then what?  Neutrinos?  Quarks?  How many bits of material do I have to break apart to find the wholeness?  How absurd is that thinking? 

Great.  Now I’m lost in space again.

Ultimately, I think that the ONLY reason that I can tear things in two is because everything is one thing or the manifestation of the one.

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September 28, 2011

Again with the random thoughts

By Love, Art & Fear

1.  I think that these random thoughts are stupid but I love them at the same time because they allows me to just say whatever I want and I can even have a run on sentence that just keeps going on and on because after all, it’s random and who cares.

2.  The jury is out.  It doesn’t matter what happens if a zombie bites a vampire or vice versa because they are both dead.  Although, it was concluded that vampires would win in a battle because zombies are stupid and vampires are cool. 

3.  I bet peeping toms suffer in silence at all of the people watching T.V. instead of having awesome sex.

4.  It is amazing how many people go to coffee shops to sit alone… with other people who are also at coffee shops sitting alone.  Is this what purgatory is like?

5.  Sometimes, I’ll see a guy get up from his date at the restaurant to go to the washroom.  I time him.  If he’s any longer than five minutes I think “well, that guy just obviously took a shit”.  Gross.  I’m eating and don’t need to know this information buddy!!! 

6.  The other day I saw a woman driving with her dog and they both had on matching outfits.  Really?  I don’t blame the dog for this behavior.

7.  Is it wrong to want to set the Kardashians on fire and redistribute their wealth to the poor?

8.  Car alarms are a great way to have other people in the surrounding area say “what a fucking asshole; I hate car alarms; when is that idiot going to shut it off?; someone should go over and smash that car to pieces”. 

9.  I am sure at one point in history there has been a monk who after dedicating  his life to listening, true perception and silence had found him or herself behind the scenes of reality thinking “ok, now what?  Do I blog about this?”

10.  For reasons that I cannot explain, I believe that I could roll out of a fall from a plane or tall building just by angling my descent properly.

11.  I hope that I never have to test the above belief.

12.  Who is this mysterious ’they’ that everyone references whenever they say “that’s what they say”? 

13.  If Al Gore created a set of rules for solving a problem in a finite number of steps, would you call this an Al gore algorithm?

3 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | posted in Art

August 29, 2011

silence, vastness and emptiness…

By Love, Art & Fear

2 comments   |  tags: , , , , | posted in Art

August 22, 2011

Tick Tock

By Love, Art & Fear

For a minute there today I thought I might have to embark on a new career path because I saw a new shop open up in town called ‘HOROLOGY”.

Man, was I disappointed when I found out that it meant this:

Horology (from greek: “hour, time” and Greek: logos, “study, speech”; lit. the study of time) is the art or science of measuring time.

No thanks.

I was impressed however to find what I was thinking of in the  Urban Dictionary.  Click here.

As someone who prides himself on knowing everything I was even more disappointed with the fact that this was the first time I’ve come across the term Horology. 

All this leads me to ask the following question; Is there a term for someone who studies the space between time?  

1 comment   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in Art

July 14, 2011

The sound of silence

By Love, Art & Fear

I was sitting in the very busy and very loud food court of a local mall here in Winnipeg.  At first I found the noise to be very irritating and let it bother me.  After a short while however, I closed my eyes and listened.  That is when I first heard it.  Complete silence.  

The noise was still there as loud as ever but, it was contained within something much more vast and all-encompassing.  I could actually hear the silence cutting through all of the chaos.  What a moment of revelation because I used to believe that I had to drive miles away from the city in order to experience this.  

That being said, I still would rather drive miles away from the city but it is reassuring to know that the calm vast silence encompassing everything is present in all moments. 

Including this one.  

And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  And this one.  AHHHHHHHH!!!!! ok enough.

2 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , | posted in Art

May 31, 2011

Anxiety

By Love, Art & Fear

This may sound completely ridiculous to you but as it is right now I couldn’t imagine waking up in the morning without anxiety.  I mentioned this to a friend and then receive a 15 minute talk on Xanax and other anti-anxiety medications that I should be taking.  No thanks!

I have come to appreciate anxiety.  I see it as energy that I can use for the day.  In the past I have woken up with it and made the mistake of associating specific thoughts to it.  This, I believe is how we actualize anxiety… by finding references for why it is present.  When we do this, we cultivate it and it can overwhelm us.  Not because anxiety is real but by our own thoughts about what it is.   

Now, I just let it be and go for what a call “prayer-walks”.  I simply walk with the intention of immersing myself in what I understand to be God.  I have found that my little fears go away when I am in touch with the vastness of being. 

I still wake up with anxiety in the morning.  I have however come to see it as an excited 6-year-old who just wants to get going with the awesomeness of the day and is trying to drag my lazy old ass out of bed.

3 comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in Love

April 29, 2011

Meditation

By Love, Art & Fear

I feel so peaceful and at one with life when I sit contemplating by the lake.

Peace is easy when you’re not surrounded by buildings, assholes and newspapers.  The real meditation and work is when I decide to get up and walk away from this serene moment. 

Ever since I was a child I felt that ‘church’ is what happens from Monday to Saturday and that anyone who thinks that they’re special in the Creator’s eyes because they sit in a building on Sunday is suffering from a delusion.  I couldn’t articulate it like that when I was 7 years old though.  Go figure.   

Years ago I discovered that the concept of ‘meditation’ can become just another form of escapism.  I was seeking conclusions in a non-conclusive world.  Seeking permanency in a temporal world is just like trying to grab sand under water. 

I wonder if a soldier in the midst of the chaos of war has found the same peaceful moment.  I’m sure of it because peace and freedom have nothing to do with circumstance.  

By the way, the lake in the photo is the same lake that I almost drowned in during the summer of 2010 when the tide shifted.  How would that have been for ‘becoming one’ with the lake?

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