Tag Archives: psychology

Cincinnati perspective

As long as I was in Cincinnati and could not find WKRP, I thought that I would just take this bank home with me.  These people clearly aren’t using the money properly anyway…

It took me about 10 minutes to take this picture because apparently I’m not completely over my fear of heights.  The building that I am “grabbing” by the way, is 35 stories high and I was intimidated regardless of the nipple high railing keeping me safe on the Carew Tower.

There is a thought amongst psychologists that it isn’t so much the fear of falling as the fear that we will intentionally throw ourselves off due to lack of impulse control.  Fuck me I’m glad I no longer indulge in LSD.

This bank is called the “Fifth Third Bank” which made me wonder if the Third Bank actually failed four other times and this was their last kick at the cat.  Regardless, it is mine now and I’m gonna put the money to good use.

 


Zones

So I’ve been looking around these days and I have observed some peculiar situations.  Human beings not only love to stand in line for things like coffee and paying traffic tickets, they are also quite content with these miseries.  There seems to be a lot of oxymorons these days.  Happiness in misery is one that still dumbfounds me.  Problem solving with worry is another.

Security.  People are secure in their own insecurities.  I understand that change can be hard but why not live up to a challenge?  Most people who I have observed (self included) have insecurities.  It is a consequence of being human it seems.  The problem is when we find a sense of security in these insecurities.  It doesn’t make sense to any degree, but it is happening every single day.  This choice is one that eludes most of us because we wouldn’t make it if we knew that we were choosing insecurity.  If we truly saw it for what it was, then we’d stop.

Comfort.  Are you comfortable?  Discomfort is typically not desirable as our minds are primed to avoid pain.  I’m not talking about the avoidance of a broken bone though.  How many times do we avoid telling the truth, public speaking or taking a life changing opportunity because it might upset our comfort zone?  I have a very simple solution for this; make being uncomfortable your new comfort zone.  After all, you may only be here on Earth for one more month.  Wouldn’t you be happier if you just went for it without hesitation?  What is really preventing anyone from growing or going down a new path besides the familiar devils?

Riches.  From what I have witnessed, I would report the following to the mother-ship:  The beings here perceive their poverty as riches.  They believe themselves to be in scarcity and do not recognize the inherent abundance or prosperity.  It is a shame, really, because they live in a paradise yet, somehow believe themselves wanting.  When one attempts to reveal the truth to them, they become agitated and begin defending the very thing that keeps them in bondage.  Please see my report on security.


The Spider and the Fly

Years ago I had a strange vision during alpha state.  That is what I call the moment right before we fall asleep and this state can bring about some interesting occurrences.

In this particular case, I was a fly caught in a spider’s web.  The more I struggled to get out, the more entangled I became.  I saw the spider crawl out of the web hole rushing toward me, twisting me in a silky substance, spinning and spinning until I could no longer move.  I stopped struggling.

And then I felt it.

It was like a large sharpened steel needle piercing the top of my head and shooting down my spine electrifying me.  Suddenly, I felt my consciousness liquefy as I was drained out into the body of the thirsty spider.

It was black and quiet for a moment.

I felt satisfied as I retreated back to my web hole.

***

What do I gather that experience was about?  I’m not entirely sure but it made me look at life cycles in a new way.  I used to think that predator and prey were opposites.  I suppose the appearance of separate bodies lends to that illusion but life is life and all life is one life.

The predator and the prey are one.  Sustenance and challenge is what they offer one another.


Worry

I was afraid of a lot of things that never happened.

Worry is good for a few things I suppose:  Creating physical stress in the body, shitting our pants on the bus by accident or making ourself feel like we have some sort of magic power over uncontrollable circumstances.

Worry is fear.

Worry accomplishes nothing but can make us feel like some sort of progress is happening.  It is a form of negative prayer and can actually impact a situation in an undesirable way.  The field is neutral and we can charge it with any kind of electricity that we choose.

What if, the world was exactly the way it was supposed to be and that everything was running smoothly?  What if, this was true despite chaos, corruption and strife?

Could you accept this?  Why not?

Would you rather have worry or peace?

Choosing peace is a big responsibility.  We have to be diligent.  It means that we do everything that we can to accept the world, make it a better place and help ease each others burdens.  After that comes one of my favorite sayings:  Let go and let God.

Ask yourself this:  What has worrying ever accomplished in my life?  The answer is simple and astounding.

For the record, I hope no one intentionally shits their pants on the bus.


Blockers

Beware of blockers in your life.

Blocking is a term taken from improv acting.  When a creative seed starts to grow, it is the blockers job to say “no”.  Since improvisation is a great metaphor for life every day, I thought this would be appropriate.

Try to move one step forward if just one member of your team is constantly saying no.  They will be like weights on your hot air balloon and you will go nowhere.  I understand how difficult it can be to remove blockers from our experience as they can come in the form of close family or friends. There is nothing stopping us from continuing to love them.  Love is a must.  There is no reason however to continue to allow anyone to block you from progressing in your journey, goals, accomplishments, dreams or experience.  We actually owe it to those people to stop their influence otherwise we will end up full of resent and blame towards them.

Blame is a funny character.  No one did anything to stop us in the end.  We are the ones who allow or disallow experience.  This brings me to the greatest blocker in all our lives; our self.

We tend to block ourselves by saying no to opportunity or by not speaking up.  We shut ourselves down because we don’t believe we are worthy of love.  It is very easy to say we couldn’t because of this or that, but the truth is that we couldn’t because we didn’t.

I’m writing this knowing full well that I still have a few logs to remove from my own eye.  It is my intention to encourage you to continually look at yours as well.  These blockers have a way of creeping back in to our psychology and require diligence.  Denying them is just pure non-sense.

One major thing that I have learned from my 37 years on Earth is that life is a journey of getting out of our own way.


The Twins

There are two black holes in the mind.

They are twins.

One is named Hope and the other is Despair.  They created each other from a broken mirror and yet their parents are fear and desire.  Hope and Despair used to play together when they were kids.  Now they don’t see eye to eye.

Hope would always tried to console Despair and for a moment they’d laugh.  Then as sure as day, something would happen to Hope and Despair would take control again.  He always wanted control.  He felt he knew better.

Throughout all of their history together, neither of them would reconcile.  It became a perpetual power struggle.  Hope would try to subdue Despair.  Even if that meant lying about reality and pretending everything was great.  Despair was always a realist.  Some would even say he was a cynic as he would often point to evidence of what didn’t work.  It was like he would just bring up past failures.  This made Hope sad.  All this was just negative experience belonging to the past.

To their very last days they fought each other without realizing who their parents were.  Sure, they were siblings but that did not mean anything to either of them.  After all, Hope and Despair were different.  Surely, they weren’t related.  Hope always thought she was better than Despair.  Despair just thought his sister’s head was in the clouds.

One night, on their way home from a political rally they began to fight.  Despair was driving as they swerved into on-coming traffic.

They both died instantly after a head on collision with Freedom.

Freedom is feeling well and resting as we speak.

 


1, 4 & 3…

If you ask people to come up with 3 shapes, they will almost always say circle, square & triangle.

What is interesting is when we correlate this numerically.  The proper sequence of counting progresses with 1, 2 and 3.  That is obvious.  But what isn’t obvious is why this translates to 1, 3 and 4 with shapes.

Why do we skip number 2?

We tend to scroll over the shape that is the most closely connected to our bodies.  It is called the vesica piscis:

We find this shape by over-lapping two circles at each of their center points.  One plus one equals two.  While it makes sense that we as humans would say 1, 2, 3  circle (1) vesica (2) triangle (3) we do not.  We say 1, 3, 4 when it comes to shape.  Where is the missing piece?

My friend Robert Pasternak pointed this out in a gallery he did years ago.  Still, to this day go out and ask as many people as you can to tell you three shapes.  Some may try to be clever by saying ‘hexagon, circle and triangle’ but most will say the square.

If you do find someone who says circle, vesica and triangle then take them out for coffee.  They will at least be interesting to talk to.

 


How are you?

It used to drive me to the brink of insanity when people would say “Hey Chris, How are you?” when I was peaking on two hits of acid.  ”HOW?  Jesus, I’m still trying to comprehend what I am”, I’d exclaim.

How are we is a difficult question but it is the last worthwhile one to ask.  Yes, I know that I over-analyze everything.  It keeps me interested.  I no longer take LSD but here is the breakdown of the six journalist questions that my father taught me when I was 9 years old from an over-analytical mind perspective:

Who?  

I’m more than the name ‘Christopher Scholl’.  I am love, compassion, anger, frustration, joy, an artist, a teacher, writer, etc.  I’m also one with God, the universe and all things manifest or unmanifest due to the fact that everything is one thing.

Awareness gives rise to consciousness which gives rise to ‘self awareness’ but is the self real or just another limited, local identity that consciousness clings to in fear of the truth of obliteration?  My most favorite answer was from God when Moses asked “who are you?”.  God said, “I am”.  What an awesome answer!!

What?

I am fundamentally either light or the empty space that light exists within or both I suppose.  Every single cell in the body that I use when perceived from sub-atomic space is light.  This also means that I am this table and the computer and you reading this.  This however is not from an ego vantage point.

Where?

That’s easy.  Here.  ”

On Earth I suppose” is another great answer.

When?

Even easier.  Now!!!

These last two questions used to save my psychological ass while on acid.  ”I’m here, now”.  Subsequently, I still am here, now.  Even if you took me off the planet into another galaxy I’d still be here, now.  This pretty much sums up the entire space-time dilemma does it not?

Why?  

Why am I?  This took me years to answer and I’m still answering this everyday.  Why are you?  Purpose is important.  Do you exist for love?  Is it an accident?  Do you have a specific mission?  What is that mission?  Is life a process of discovery or remembrance?  Are we here for one another or self?  Are you here to be of service to something greater?  Future generations?  Or are you just here to work and die?  Why?

Sometimes this question still plagues my mind but I am in the process of making the answer simple:  I am here to love, to be love, to give and receive love.  That is no easy mission but a worthwhile one nevertheless.

How are you? 

I don’t know yet but I think it has something to do with electro-magnetics.  Regardless, life is miraculous and amazing.  What an honor to be alive, awake and experiencing this.


Egnimartyr

She tries to suffer in silence.  Her emotion gives her away.  You know enough about her to keep you interested but the carrot on the stick alludes you. 

The depth of her emotion is rich.  Curious, you dive into these waters time and time again, only to find yourself sitting on her throne as she swims toward the light.  Breathless and still, the mystery is revealed to you at the 11th hour. 


Confession

When we were 13 years old, my friend Chris and I used to go to the part of Grace Hospital where they held the Wednesday psych ward meetings.  We didn’t go to the meetings though. 

Chris had a Six foot blow up green Gumby doll.  We would clear tape a large knife to its left hand and just simply walk it past the window where the group met.  Then we would leave. 

We would do this every week.  Our hope was that someone in the group would say “umm, I just saw a large Gumby doll with a knife walk past that window” and the rest of their meeting would unfold from that statement. 

It is true that idle hands are the devil’s workshop… especially at age 13.


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