Tag Archives: relationships

Happy V-day.

I did give this to my sweetheart for Valentines Day.

When you have a day that excludes about 90% of people who aren’t in relationships, then you should expect some backlash.  I’m looking forward to March 14th personally.


3 posts

I asked 3 different people to give me a blog post topic.  One is a very private person and would not appreciate being mentioned.  One is my mom and by default appears from time to time in my blog.  The other is my friend James, who is also private but should know better than to give me a blog post idea.

1.  I don’t know

Often times, this is my first answer for a blog post idea.  Some days, as it gets closer to the end of the day this changes to “fuck, I still don’t know”.  I am about 33 posts away from completing the post a day for a year challenge that I imposed upon myself last year.  ”I don’t know” has become my friend.  It is usually followed by “let’s find out or see what happens”.  Not knowing is the key to knowledge.  Some people walk around puffed up with everything that they think they know.  For them, that is all there is.  After all, they know it all.  I have always been a fan of the empty vessel approach to life.  I do talk a lot about a lot of things but I don’t really really know what I am talking about.  After all, everything is just waves floating in a sea of possibility.

2.  I’ve kept a list of all the gifts that you and your brothers got on Christmas and birthdays since the day you were born and all of the activities that you did at school and how much you weighed and grew every year of your life.

Obviously, this was my mothers suggestion.  I’m not sure whether it was a suggestion or if she just began talking when I asked for a blog post topic.  I suppose that this solves the mystery of my tendency to make lists once and for all.

For instance, I received a “Ride’m Tractor & Trailer from my Mom & Dad for Christmas in 1975, walked steadily at 13 months and 9 days, had croup January 22/23 1976, lost my first tooth at 6 years, 7 months, had a school trip to the fire hall in February of 1980 and I was 57 lbs at age 7.5.

Actually, this is quite an amazing record to have and sincerely thank my Mom for taking the time to do this.

3.  Dumping etiquette

I am pretty sure what James is getting at here and I will say that it is not a good practice to dump in uncontrolled areas.  Waste management is crucial to the wellness of the planet.

Also, it is good to light a match out of courtesy.  And please flush before you jump in the shower!!!  Your risk of forgetting that it is there is in direct proportion to me discovering it.

Party poopers are always disrespectful; go out for a ‘coffee’ or something please.  Potential pee-ers must always be asked before poo-ers just assume priority of the facility lest there be an emergency.

***I am adding this part because I just spoke to my friend James on the phone and he informed me that he was talking about the etiquette of breaking up with people.

Sad, that my mind goes directly to waste management and potty humor but I don’t have that much experience in the relational dumping department.  In that regard, I think a gentle “it’s definitely not me, it’s you” would suffice.

 


Love and loss

I found a love so great.  This is still present in my life.  What came with this love however is something I hadn’t anticipated.  Fear.  The fear of losing the love that I’ve found is at times unbearable.  Such is my humanness.  This is what happens when I perceive love through the filters of my emotions and insecurities.

Since this happened, each day has been a progression towards letting go with the awareness that there is a love so great, so pure and so unfathomably infinite that no fear can kill.  I cultivate my faith around this truth.  

Friends and family will pass away.  So will I.  We may get along today and you may hate me tomorrow.  Knowing this, I do everything I can to be fully present with you in the moment.  After all, this is all we have. 

And it is enough. 

I don’t require you or the world to change in order for my joy to exist and increase.  This is entirely my choosing.  Knowing that life here is temporary only makes me appreciate it more.  I liken this to a week-long ‘get away’.  The week flies by and seems like an instant.  At the end of my life I may think “well that flew by.  Time to go home”.  Thank God my real home is awesome and I can’t wait to get back. 

I have said before that the attempt at capturing freedom is like trying to grab a handful of sand under water.  Experience is fleeting so letting go is our best option if we want to live with joy.

I may not personally know everyone who reads this but, I appreciate the fact that we share this moment together.  My advice to you…

Smile lots and hugs someone you love today.  They may not be here tomorrow.


Love too

When I feel genuine love from another for who I am, I feel compelled to be better.  I don’t feel this when I have to live up to expectations.  I have had times in my life where I have felt like I am not enough or need to change based on what another thinks.  In this I am deluded.

My conundrum was this:  I am struggling in feeling like I am a failure or not enough from constant relational re-enforcement of another through their conditional love.  (I love you if…)  Would it not be just as conditional of me to demand that the other change their ways of conditional love?  The answer was simple.  The other doesn’t have to change.  I simply had to make a decision.

I had made the mistake of allowing the world to tell me who I am.

I know now that real love (acceptance, giving and support) is co-nurturing and this is true inspiration.  Love begets love.  It is the seed, the soil, the sun, the water, the growing process and the tree.


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